{"id":2423,"date":"2021-08-31T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-31T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/preprod.realtrends.com\/blog\/2021\/08\/31\/breaking-free-from-the-drama-triangle\/"},"modified":"2025-03-13T02:38:53","modified_gmt":"2025-03-13T02:38:53","slug":"breaking-free-from-the-drama-triangle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/preprod.realtrends.com\/blog\/2021\/08\/31\/breaking-free-from-the-drama-triangle\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking free from the drama triangle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>If you\u2019re not familiar with <a href=\"https:\/\/karpmandramatriangle.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Dr. Stephen Karpman\u2019s Drama Triangle,<\/strong><\/a> I can guarantee that you\u2019ve been caught in it, and it\u2019s tough to escape. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re all in different situations where we may view ourselves (or be perceived by others) as a <strong>victim<\/strong>, a <strong>persecutor <\/strong>or a <strong>rescuer<\/strong>. These three roles make up the \u201cDrama Triangle\u201d. They are roles we unconsciously play, or try to manipulate other people to play. It happens all the time in a real estate transaction. Once we fully recognize what each of these roles entail, we can prevent ourselves from getting pulled in or regressing into one of the roles on our own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-it-starts-with-the-victim\">It starts with the victim<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>It always starts with the victim. Everything is happening to them and it\u2019s \u201cpoor me.\u201d They are extra sensitive and want special treatment from others. They don&#8217;t take responsibility for their negative circumstances and feel powerless to change the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To be a victim, you need a persecutor<strong>.<\/strong> This can be a person, situation or circumstance. The persecutor criticizes, blames the victim and the implication is \u201cit\u2019s all your fault.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When the victim encounters a persecutor, they quickly look for a rescuer. They want to be saved. And rescuers need to help other people to feel good about themselves, often neglecting their own needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Breaking free<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Why do we find ourselves getting caught in the drama triangle? It\u2019s because victims are seeking out saviors, rescuers become enablers and persecutors need a scapegoat. So how can we break free from the <a href=\"https:\/\/preprod.realtrends.com\/blog\/changing-your-real-estate-mindset-in-a-challenging-market\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">dreaded drama triangle<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Empowerment Dynamic is the way to escape. David Emerald Wolmerdorff has written the book<a href=\"https:\/\/powerofted.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> <em>The Power of TED<\/em><\/a><em>. <\/em>He creates a new triangle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp; The Victim becomes a <strong>Creator<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp; The Persecutor becomes a <strong>Challenger<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp; The Rescuer becomes a <strong>Coach<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The creator<strong> <\/strong>is focused on the desired outcomes, not the problems. They look at their long-term vision for their life. Most importantly, they take responsibility for initiating these actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The creator welcomes a<strong> <\/strong>challenger<strong> <\/strong>who inspires ideas by confronting their assumptions and the status quo. The challenger\u2019s focus is to help the creator improve, develop new skills, make tough decisions or do whatever is necessary to achieve their vision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, the creator looks for a coach who asks the right questions to help the individual make informed choices. They make sure the creator is taking full accountability for initiating action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now we understand what the Drama Triangle is and that the empowerment dynamic is where we want to find ourselves. So when your buyer continues to lose out on offers and falls into victim mode and then wants to give up because all sellers are against them and the market is too challenging (the persecutors), are you jumping in to be the rescuer instead of their coach helping them to be the creator? Here are the steps on making the transition:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;1. Gain awareness \u2013 Acknowledge what role you\u2019re in<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;2. Take responsibility for your actions that led to this<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;3. Learn to recognize patterns in the Drama Triangle<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;4. Set boundaries and proactively withdraw<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;5. Choose to play the role of Creator, Challenger or Coach<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Making this transformation will result in a profoundly higher quality of life and more fulfilling relationships, both professionally and personally.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019re all in different situations where we view ourselves as a victim, persecutor or rescuer. These three roles make up the \u201cDrama Triangle\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15802,"featured_media":4822,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3255],"tags":[],"coauthors":[450],"class_list":["post-2423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-archive"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.4 (Yoast SEO v26.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Breaking free from the drama triangle - RealTrends - Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We\u2019re all in different situations where we view ourselves as a victim, persecutor or rescuer. These three roles make up the \u201cDrama Triangle\u201d.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/preprod.realtrends.com\/blog\/2021\/08\/31\/breaking-free-from-the-drama-triangle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Breaking free from the drama triangle\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We\u2019re all in different situations where we view ourselves as a victim, persecutor or rescuer. 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